Tabula Rasa
by Shiba-sama
Summary: When Raven wakes up one day with no memory of her life as a Titan, her teammates must try to regain her trust and friendship. Robin seems to be doing this faster than anybody, which is great - until things go wrong and amnesiac Raven starts seeing him as more than just a friend. Now, Robin will be forced to confront reality, whatever that may be... First of a series of fics.
1. Part One

A/N: Before we begin here, I think it's important that you (my beloved reader who may click the review button for a cookie) understand the setting of this story. Although this fic is Robin/Raven centric, it goes under the assumption that the canon characters – during the course of the show – didn't have any sort of pining for each other or anything like that. They behaved like siblings and thought they were like siblings. This way I can stick close to canon and still have my pairing without straying too far into OOC territory. Got it? Great! Quick disclaimer: The Teen Titans don't belong to me, but I did write this story all on my lonesome with just my crazy brain to give me ideas – and _yes_, I do have a plot all worked out, so I won't be putting this one on hiatus unless I get a serious case of writer's block. Hopefully that won't happen, because I like this story. Enjoy yourself!

**Part One**

I yawn and stretch, sniffing the air with a grin – looks like Cyborg didn't let BB make breakfast today, because it smells like _real_ bacon. Good bacon, too. "All hail the master chef," I proclaim, arching an eyebrow at Cy. He flashes a charming smile in my direction.

"Why, thank you, Robin. Hear that, green boy?" My teammate waggles his eyebrows at his shorter companion, who scowls.

"That was a pig once!" Beast Boy snarls, gesturing at the bacon. "A living, breathing, adorable pig!" Cyborg's smile doesn't lose an inch.

"And now it's breakfast," he sings tauntingly. I laugh.

"Don't be mean, Cyborg. Beast Boy, I think there's some tofu in the fridge." I turn around as I hear light footsteps fall behind me. For an instant I'm expecting Starfire, but then I remember that she's still vacationing on Tamaran, getting in some quality time with her old caretaker Galfore. "Morning, Raven!" I greet my best friend as she walks in the room. She greets me with, as usual, silence.

After a moment I realize she has not moved from her position near the door. I frown. "Raven, are you feeling okay? Want some breakfast?"

Her jaw tightens. "Who are you?"

Beast Boy and Cyborg laugh, but I don't, because everything about her manner is completely serious.

"Raven," I reply slowly, "it's me. Robin."

"Mighty and exalted leader," Cyborg chimes in. "Everybody's best bud."

Raven's gaze darts around the room before landing on me again. There is a notable crease appearing between her eyebrows. "Where am I?" she demands. "How did I get here? What did you do to me?"

Bewildered, I stand up and walk over to her. She flinches away from me, body turning glowing-dark and transparent as she prepares to escape through the wall if necessary. I back off a little. "Raven," I repeat, "it's okay. It's _me_. Robin. You _know_ me." She shakes her head instantly.

"Who are you?" she hisses again, voice beginning to rise. She turns to Beast Boy and Cyborg, a scythe of black energy lashing out and wrapping around their throats. "One of you, tell me what's going on!"

"Let them go! Let them go, we'll try to help you," I promise hastily, knowing perfectly well how dangerous Raven can be.

Warily, she lets the energy dissipate. I back away. "Why don't you sit down." My tone makes it not-a-question, but evidently she really doesn't remember much because she doesn't respond to my command voice the way she usually does – with a sort of "fine, if you say so then I guess I will, Robin" face and unhesitating movements to do whatever I asked her to do. She goes to sit down, but right now her face is closed, cold, uninviting, and every muscle contraction is a hesitation. She's waiting for us to attack. She doesn't _trust_ us. What's going on?

"Raven," I begin, trying to keep my voice steady, "do you know where you are?"

"No," she snaps, one hand closing into a fist. I wish she would relax, but obviously that's not going to happen right now.

"Calm down, Rae," Cyborg soothes. I let him speak; he's always been better at smoothing Raven's feathers than me, although I'm improving. Or I thought I was, anyway.

She ignores him this time, though. She's barely even looked at him or Beast Boy, focusing her attention on me instead – probably because she can tell I'm sort of the one in charge. "I'll calm down when you tell me what's going on," she counters, not looking away from my face.

I sigh and wonder how to do this. How did she even–? _No, not the time right now, we can worry about the amnesia later. She deserves to know where she is, who we are._

"Raven," I continue, wondering if my incessant repetition of her name has begun to annoy her yet. I'm hoping that hearing my voice say her name will help jog her memory – it can't hurt, anyway. "You're in Titans Tower right now. My name is Robin, and this is Cyborg and Beastboy." I wave my arm towards the two, who appear to be inching towards the corner of the room, away from Raven. Clearly, they're pretty taken aback by all this. "We're the Teen Titans."

"You are," she tries to clarify, her expression shifting.

"We are." I point at her. "You too."

"Yeah, remember that one time with the green dog that everybody thought was me but it was actually that weird alien dog?" Beast Boy pipes up.

"Or when your dad tried to destroy the world and you smoked him right off the grid?" Cyborg adds.

"Or when Robin went all psycho about Slade but he wasn't really there, and you tried to help him out?"

"Or when you went all Vesuvius on us because your magic mirror had all those people in it that looked like you?"

Her large violet eyes narrow as she takes this in, probably trying to decide whether or not we're lying or making this up. "I don't remember any of that," she states bluntly, expression flickering with distrust. "As far as I'm concerned, none of it happened." Beast Boy and Cyborg look sort of crestfallen. There is a slight pause as she inhales deeply. "So what are the Teen Titans anyway?" she inquires, her face going blank the way it does when she's thinking. Which is practically all the time.

"Superheroes," I reply. "Crime-fighters. We're a team."

Her delicate brows rise. "Doesn't seem like a very big team."

I smirk a little. "Our fifth member, Starfire, is away on her home planet Tamaran. And we have… one or two others scattered here and there." I carefully don't look at Cy or BB, because I know they'd start laughing at my extreme understatement.

"Speaking of which," Cy cuts in, mouth quirked.

"…We should call Star," Beast Boy finishes, looking concerned. "Tell her what's going on." He stares at Raven. "Assuming this isn't some kind of prank to make up for that water balloon thing last Thursday."

I shake my head at him discreetly. This isn't a joke. She really has forgotten us. "Go call Starfire, Beast Boy."

He can have Star on the communicator and filled in inside of five minutes, but she'll want to talk to me. Once he gets the number dialed, I motion for him to hand the comm over to me. As usual, he complies, albeit with a little grumbling. My girlfriend's voice reaches my ears almost at the same instant that my fingers reach the communicator.

"Hello, Robin! What news is there from our home?"

I pause for a moment, unsure of how to word this. "Star, um… Something's happened. Something… sort of bad."

There is another short silence before her reply. "In that case, I urge you to tell me at once and stop all this waiting!"

"Starfire – Raven has amnesia." I take a breath. "She's lost her memory. She – doesn't remember us."

"Oh, no!" Starfire wails. "That is terrible news! Robin, I will arrange passage home as soon as I am able!"

I start to reply, but she has already hung up. I toss the comm back to Beast Boy and turn toward Raven, who is watching me impassively.

"So," I say, "that was Starfire."

"I'd guessed," she deadpans, gaze wandering like she's bored.

I try not to huff as I exhale. "You believe me, right? This is true! This is _your_ life – you've just forgotten it all."

Her lips tighten. "So you say."

I sigh again. "Do you know what your home dimension is?"

"Azarath," she replies immediately.

"Your mother's name," I prod.

"Arella."

"Your…father's name," I add, somewhat daringly. She didn't seem to react much when Cyborg mentioned her father before, but I know it's a touchy subject with her.

Her lips thin and she glares at me. "Trigon the Terrible."

"So since you know all that… where did your memory cut off?" I think for a moment, back to the day when all of us first met. "Do you remember meeting me? Or these two?"

She shakes her head, obviously irritated.

"How about – do you remember getting to Earth?"

"I don't _know_!" she finally explodes. Well, for her it's an explosion – her expression is intensely hostile, and her voice wintry, though not raised above a relatively low speaking tone.

"How can you not remember any of these things?" Beast Boy asks, probably no less frustrated than I am for all he's barely participating in the pop quiz.

Raven shoots him a stony look. "Maybe because they didn't happen. Or maybe I'm justcrazy." Clearly livid to my eyes – despite her wooden expression – she rises and stalks toward the door. "I'm going back to the room I woke up in and locking the door. If it belongs to somebody else, too bad." The slab of metal slams shut behind her.

I breathe deeply, trying to contain my temper. This is obviously going to take time. A lot of it.


	2. Part Two

**Part Two**

It's now been a week since Raven lost her memory, and things aren't going well. We got her checked out, and the people who checked her out couldn't find a medical or psychological reason for her sudden memory loss, so we can't fix it that way. She's being very cold, distant, and extremely private – exactly the way she was when she first joined the team, except maybe a little worse. All those years of trust-building and fellowship-strengthening? Gone. And to make matters worse, Beast Boy apparently thinks the time is ripe for practical jokes, because he's pulled three on Raven (with collateral damage, namely Cyborg and me) in as many days. Maybe something about handling tense situations with humor – but he's forgetting that Raven doesn't have a sense of humor until you're friends with her, which doesn't happen overnight. Or at all, in this case.

The few interactions I've had with Raven in the past week – she hasn't exactly been seeking me out, or any of us, really; she mostly just keeps to her room – have been brief and impersonal. Some small talk, but not a lot. Raven's pretty big on keeping it honest, meaning that she doesn't pretend to be friends with people she isn't friends with. It was a very disconcerting feeling when I realized that.

Back to the pranks. First there was the whole "bread in your bed" thing, which I don't think anybody really thought was funny, not even Beast Boy. I didn't even know what the point was. Definitely a half-hearted attempt… Which he made up for with the gauntlet of water buckets down the hall, which fell just according to his evil plan. All over Raven, not to mention me, and Cyborg almost shorted out. It was a painful experience, especially the part where the biggest bucket fell on my foot.

Today's prank, though, definitely takes the cake.

I mean that literally, of course. Cyborg baked a cake, Beast Boy stole it, and… Well, _this_ whole mess happened.

"This mess" of course being Raven, me, and Cyborg covered in chocolate frosting. Raven looks like she's about to explode. She's been doing an impressive job of keeping her emotions under control these last few days, but it looks like she's crawling closer and closer to her limit every second Beast Boy is standing there in the bathroom doorway. Directly in Raven's path, and thus preventing her from seeking a shower or other such attempts at cleanliness restoration.

"_Get out of my way._" Her voice is calm enough to merit the use of a tranquilizer, which is to say, not.

"What's the matter, Rae?" Beast Boy still doesn't get it, somehow. He's still trying to taunt her, as if the old Raven will suddenly come back and start laughing while she punches him in the gut. "What's your problem?"

"My problem," she hisses, "is living in the same house with a useless idiot who wastes my time just long enough to ruin my day, and…" She whirls around to point at Cyborg and me. "Two more idiots who put up with him!"

No one moves as Raven stalks away down the hall. She meant "idiots" to mean something much worse, and that's exactly what her tone made it into.

"Beast Boy." My voice is deliberately quiet. "No more pranks."

Cyborg looks as though he can't quite believe what she just said, but when he speaks, his voice is sure of itself. "She really doesn't trust us," he says. "She doesn't even _like_ us. The old Raven – she's gone."

A scream tears down the hallway. "I _AM_ the 'old Raven'! _I'M RAVEN_!"

Moments after the scream comes the sound of shattering glass. There goes the expensive new window.

"She's right, you know," I point out. "She's still Raven. She just doesn't remember us. She's the same _person_. There's no 'old Raven' we need to get back – just memories."

A heavy silence falls, until Beast Boy breaks it. "I'm thinking maybe we need to find a way to do that. Get her memories back."

Cyborg's face flickers with a ghost of a smile. "We'll go, Robin. Check out some dusty old libraries, see what we can find. You should stay here and make sure our girl doesn't get into any trouble."

"Start with the old library where the prophecy happened," I suggest. "Maybe something there will help us. Almost certainly, her amnesia has been caused by something having to do with her power."

Beast Boy nods sharply.

"This means we probably won't be back by the time Starfire comes home," Cyborg notes, still speaking quietly. "Give her a hug for us, all right?"

I have no arguments. They go, I stay, and that's how it is.


	3. Part Three

**Part Three**

Being alone in the Tower with Raven is awkward, to say the least. Actually, awkward to the extent of being downright terrifying. After a day or two of it, I'm wishing I hadn't let Cyborg and BB leave so suddenly. Raven is at least being sort of polite now instead of jumping down my throat every few hours, which is nice.

We've spent very little time together, despite my promises to myself that I'll try to get her in normal Raven working condition by… well, at first it was "by the end of the month", then as I became more disheartened it morphed into "by the end of the year", and finally just "eventually". I find it very uncomfortable to be around Raven now, despite my best efforts to push my doubts aside. I guess I never really realized how full of friendship and memories our daily conversations were, before all this happened. We'd make so many references to old events, little inside jokes and running gags; but most of all, I notice that our connection seems to have gone. The deepest bond I've ever had with anyone, a merging of souls, has suddenly snapped apart with no warning and now I feel like a piece of me is missing.

Maybe it is.

I'm jolted out of my reverie as the object of my musings pokes me rudely in the arm. My jaw clenches, and I'm careful to relax it before turning to look at her. "Hi, Raven. Need something? What's up?" I ask in as blasé a tone as I can muster.

She looks uncomfortable. "Um… I just…" She coughs. "Wanna hang out. With someone."

A pleased smile spreads over my face before I can stop it, then changes to a suspicious frown. Raven was never this forthcoming. "This isn't a joke, is it?"

She recoils, face turned to the side, and I immediately feel horrible. "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

I catch her arm as she tries to walk away. "No, wait! I just wasn't sure. I definitely want to hang out with you, Raven. We can talk…" I cut myself off before I'm able to finish with _about old times. _My throat tightens unexpectedly, and I clear it before I continue, "about whatever you want."

A tiny smile curves her lips for an instant, and she nods.

A few minutes later, we're sitting together in the TV room—not talking, just watching some horrible soap—but it's better, because she asked for it.

I begin to crack jokes at the sheep-like characters. "How is she marrying that guy if she's wearing _black_? I bet it'll turn out to be secretly a funeral or something, and he'll burst out in tears in the middle of the ceremony and tell her she's dead."

"At least it won't show stains," Raven comments, amused despite the fact that my attempts at humor were feeble at best.

I smile and turn off the TV. She looks at me inquisitively—was she starting to _like _that horrible stuff? No, she's just curious.

"I wanted to talk to you," I begin hesitantly. "About how things used to be."

She freezes up almost immediately, but responds, "What of it?" I can tell she barely restrained herself from snapping _I don't know anything about that _or something equally quelling.

Grateful for her effort at repressing her irritation and confusion, I go on. "Do you remember any of what happened after you came to Earth?"

Her brow creases slightly, and her eyes dart over the floor. It looks like she thinks she might remember something, but isn't sure. It's a start.

"Anything?" I prompt, and her gaze meets mine again.

"Maybe something. Something about…" She shifts and looks embarrassed. "Pizza."

I can feel my expression soften. "We used to go out for pizza after every big fight. And Starfire would always want mustard on hers, and Cyborg would want all kinds of meat, and BB'd want vegan. You and I were just fine with cheese." I laugh quietly. "But no matter what we got on the pizza, we'd always fight over the last piece."

I meet her eyes, and she looks… what is that expression? Stunned? I'm not sure why. But then she quickly looks away and mumbles something about never liking meat, and the moment vanishes into smoke.

After that, we start spending more time together, and she slowly becomes re-accustomed to being around me. Things aren't exactly close between us, but I'm thrilled that our relationship is repairing itself this quickly. I didn't expect her to open up to me this fast; it's gotten to the point where she's telling me all about her mother and her life on Azarath—stories I hadn't even heard when she was still our old Raven.

And things are good. Things are really good, and I have a feeling they're just going to get better.


End file.
